Memories

I was listening to the radio yesterday and for calling in and telling them about a favorite Christmas memory you would automatically get ten scratch off lottery tickets and I thought well I could do that...so I was thinking about what my happiest Christmas memory was and I can honestly say that it was eleven years ago when I first got together with my husband and I spent my first Christmas with his family.  I was welcomed in and treated as though I had been there forever and my favorite thing was that no one was fighting.  All day long there was 25 or so people in this house enjoying Christmas day together, opening gifts and exchanging hugs and laughter and there was not one ill word all day long.  I loved it.  It was the best Christmas I ever had but then we get to today and somewhere in between I made a huge mistake although still unknown to me as to what I did.  So the other day my husband goes over to get Christmas stuff from his parents and there is 2 cards for my husband and my daughter and treats galore for the animals in my house but not a thing for me.  I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it does.  Especially when I think of the stark contrast between then and now and my not knowing what changed it all and if it is fixable or not.  By the time I had thought all these thoughts someone else had already called in and claimed the free lottery tickets....figures....